One strong word to use here is agonize.

Agonize via M-W

intransitive verb:

0: to suffer agony, torture, or anguish. “agonizes over every decision”, “agonized for days over whether she’d done the right thing” 2

: struggle A

less intense word might be brooding.

To feel anxious,

or at times worrying, ponder “I used to brood these things on my walk — Christopher Morley” intransitive verb: 1 :

to dwell

gloomily on a subject “Brooded over his mistake” 2 : to be

in a state of depression “sat brooding in her room” If going in another

direction, you might be interested in using scarred to describe a person.

Scarred via dictionary. a

lasting aftereffect of trouble, especially a lasting psychological injury resulting from suffering or trauma. My children and I are safe now, but we will always be scarred by those twelve years of abuse and fear of deportation.” Similar

words: Traumatized, Lament, Grieving, Mourn, Bemoan, Mourn

* * * * * ** * * * * * * Pseudonym are similarly similar words: Traumatized, Pseudonym are actually similar words