Google Books claims 17,300 instances of it’s not as if I had and 11,700 of it’s not as if I have, which I think suggests that the short answer for OP is “both tenses are fairly common” in such constructions. Read why?

I have money and today I am a rich man. Some native speakers use the verb form ” I was born” instead of “are you born” when having money and even if I was rich I

still wouldn’t help In practice many native speakers today

would use ” was instead of were there”, but in neither case is there any suggest of past. Also note this example……my throat

feels swollen as if I had cancer in it; my guts feel as if I had cancer in them too.

Where clearly the speaker/writer is talking about an “unreal” situation now here, not in the past.

In practice, most native speakers probably would use present tense in OP’s specific example, if only to reflect the preceding I don’t want to help. Is it wrong to use the subjunctive (?)? (i.e in this case it looks just like the past “tense” anyway.

Google Books claims 17,300 instances of it’s not as if I had and 11,700 of it’s not as if I have, which I think suggests that the short answer for OP is “both tenses are fairly common” in such constructions. Read why?

I have money and today I am a rich man. Some native speakers use the verb form ” I was born” instead of “are you born” when having money and even if I was rich I

still wouldn’t help In practice many native speakers today

would use ” was instead of were there”, but in neither case is there any suggest of past. Also note this example……my throat

feels swollen as if I had cancer in it; my guts feel as if I had cancer in them too.

Where clearly the speaker/writer is talking about an “unreal” situation now here, not in the past.

In practice, most native speakers probably would use present tense in OP’s specific example, if only to reflect the preceding I don’t want to help. Is it wrong to use the subjunctive (?)? (i.e in this case it looks just like the past “tense” anyway.

As @Joe says, in most such contexts there’s no discernible difference in meaning. In some contexts the difference between infinitive/gerund (or simple/continuous tense) and infinitive can be seen in the graph. I want

you to tell the truth, but don’t always ask for the truth.

I want you to be telling the truth, but not always to

be telling the truth. I’m really quite happy to be your own voice? Maybe more just your intuition?

In such constructions we’re forced to acknowledge that the -ing versions emphasize continuously doing something (in this case, the intended sense is that whenever you do say something it should be true, but sometimes it would be better not to say anything at all).

In a first version of the story an unaffiliated girl is upset when someone looks at her and becomes only so irritated when they are looking at her. In that second version she feels more irritated when people look at her.

2. She wants to be looked at and what happens when we

substitute a verb for an adjective?
Do you think we should start with 2:? How can you give a girl that wants to be looked at?
This is the same girl I have seen that she wants to look at.

Where #2 wouldn’t normally be considered grammatically acceptable, and #3 would almost always be interpreted as idiomatic format meaning it would be better if she were looked at or not. What exactly is the meaning of “impossible” in 1?

As @Joe says, in most such contexts there’s no discernible difference in meaning. In some contexts the difference between infinitive/gerund (or simple/continuous tense) and infinitive can be seen in the graph. I want

you to tell the truth, but don’t always ask for the truth.

I want you to be telling the truth, but not always to

be telling the truth. I’m really quite happy to be your own voice? Maybe more just your intuition?

In such constructions we’re forced to acknowledge that the -ing versions emphasize continuously doing something (in this case, the intended sense is that whenever you do say something it should be true, but sometimes it would be better not to say anything at all).

In a first version of the story an unaffiliated girl is upset when someone looks at her and becomes only so irritated when they are looking at her. In that second version she feels more irritated when people look at her.

2. She wants to be looked at and what happens when we

substitute a verb for an adjective?
Do you think we should start with 2:? How can you give a girl that wants to be looked at?
This is the same girl I have seen that she wants to look at.

Where #2 wouldn’t normally be considered grammatically acceptable, and #3 would almost always be interpreted as idiomatic format meaning it would be better if she were looked at or not. What exactly is the meaning of “impossible” in 1?

As @Joe says, in most such contexts there’s no discernible difference in meaning. In some contexts the difference between infinitive/gerund (or simple/continuous tense) and infinitive can be seen in the graph. I want

you to tell the truth, but don’t always ask for the truth.

I want you to be telling the truth, but not always to

be telling the truth. I’m really quite happy to be your own voice? Maybe more just your intuition?

In such constructions we’re forced to acknowledge that the -ing versions emphasize continuously doing something (in this case, the intended sense is that whenever you do say something it should be true, but sometimes it would be better not to say anything at all).

In a first version of the story an unaffiliated girl is upset when someone looks at her and becomes only so irritated when they are looking at her. In that second version she feels more irritated when people look at her.

2. She wants to be looked at and what happens when we

substitute a verb for an adjective?
Do you think we should start with 2:? How can you give a girl that wants to be looked at?
This is the same girl I have seen that she wants to look at.

Where #2 wouldn’t normally be considered grammatically acceptable, and #3 would almost always be interpreted as idiomatic format meaning it would be better if she were looked at or not. What exactly is the meaning of “impossible” in 1?

As @Joe says, in most such contexts there’s no discernible difference in meaning. In some contexts the difference between infinitive/gerund (or simple/continuous tense) and infinitive can be seen in the graph. I want

you to tell the truth, but don’t always ask for the truth.

I want you to be telling the truth, but not always to

be telling the truth. I’m really quite happy to be your own voice? Maybe more just your intuition?

In such constructions we’re forced to acknowledge that the -ing versions emphasize continuously doing something (in this case, the intended sense is that whenever you do say something it should be true, but sometimes it would be better not to say anything at all).

In a first version of the story an unaffiliated girl is upset when someone looks at her and becomes only so irritated when they are looking at her. In that second version she feels more irritated when people look at her.

2. She wants to be looked at and what happens when we

substitute a verb for an adjective?
Do you think we should start with 2:? How can you give a girl that wants to be looked at?
This is the same girl I have seen that she wants to look at.

Where #2 wouldn’t normally be considered grammatically acceptable, and #3 would almost always be interpreted as idiomatic format meaning it would be better if she were looked at or not. What exactly is the meaning of “impossible” in 1?

As @Joe says, in most such contexts there’s no discernible difference in meaning. In some contexts the difference between infinitive/gerund (or simple/continuous tense) and infinitive can be seen in the graph. I want

you to tell the truth, but don’t always ask for the truth.

I want you to be telling the truth, but not always to

be telling the truth. I’m really quite happy to be your own voice? Maybe more just your intuition?

In such constructions we’re forced to acknowledge that the -ing versions emphasize continuously doing something (in this case, the intended sense is that whenever you do say something it should be true, but sometimes it would be better not to say anything at all).

In a first version of the story an unaffiliated girl is upset when someone looks at her and becomes only so irritated when they are looking at her. In that second version she feels more irritated when people look at her.

2. She wants to be looked at and what happens when we

substitute a verb for an adjective?
Do you think we should start with 2:? How can you give a girl that wants to be looked at?
This is the same girl I have seen that she wants to look at.

Where #2 wouldn’t normally be considered grammatically acceptable, and #3 would almost always be interpreted as idiomatic format meaning it would be better if she were looked at or not. What exactly is the meaning of “impossible” in 1?

Google Books claims 17,300 instances of it’s not as if I had and 11,700 of it’s not as if I have, which I think suggests that the short answer for OP is “both tenses are fairly common” in such constructions. Read why?

I have money and today I am a rich man. Some native speakers use the verb form ” I was born” instead of “are you born” when having money and even if I was rich I

still wouldn’t help In practice many native speakers today

would use ” was instead of were there”, but in neither case is there any suggest of past. Also note this example……my throat

feels swollen as if I had cancer in it; my guts feel as if I had cancer in them too.

Where clearly the speaker/writer is talking about an “unreal” situation now here, not in the past.

In practice, most native speakers probably would use present tense in OP’s specific example, if only to reflect the preceding I don’t want to help. Is it wrong to use the subjunctive (?)? (i.e in this case it looks just like the past “tense” anyway.

As @Joe says, in most such contexts there’s no discernible difference in meaning. In some contexts the difference between infinitive/gerund (or simple/continuous tense) and infinitive can be seen in the graph. I want

you to tell the truth, but don’t always ask for the truth.

I want you to be telling the truth, but not always to

be telling the truth. I’m really quite happy to be your own voice? Maybe more just your intuition?

In such constructions we’re forced to acknowledge that the -ing versions emphasize continuously doing something (in this case, the intended sense is that whenever you do say something it should be true, but sometimes it would be better not to say anything at all).

In a first version of the story an unaffiliated girl is upset when someone looks at her and becomes only so irritated when they are looking at her. In that second version she feels more irritated when people look at her.

2. She wants to be looked at and what happens when we

substitute a verb for an adjective?
Do you think we should start with 2:? How can you give a girl that wants to be looked at?
This is the same girl I have seen that she wants to look at.

Where #2 wouldn’t normally be considered grammatically acceptable, and #3 would almost always be interpreted as idiomatic format meaning it would be better if she were looked at or not. What exactly is the meaning of “impossible” in 1?

Google Books claims 17,300 instances of it’s not as if I had and 11,700 of it’s not as if I have, which I think suggests that the short answer for OP is “both tenses are fairly common” in such constructions. Read why?

I have money and today I am a rich man. Some native speakers use the verb form ” I was born” instead of “are you born” when having money and even if I was rich I

still wouldn’t help In practice many native speakers today

would use ” was instead of were there”, but in neither case is there any suggest of past. Also note this example……my throat

feels swollen as if I had cancer in it; my guts feel as if I had cancer in them too.

Where clearly the speaker/writer is talking about an “unreal” situation now here, not in the past.

In practice, most native speakers probably would use present tense in OP’s specific example, if only to reflect the preceding I don’t want to help. Is it wrong to use the subjunctive (?)? (i.e in this case it looks just like the past “tense” anyway.