With Jeanne Pindar and Jasper Loy, the intended meaning is “I’ve had a little bit too much to drink.” What works with these phrases is that they aren’t usually heard until the speaker has had a great deal too much to drink, and have a euphemistic

quality about them.

Two words suggest themselves. One is skiver :-

n. British slang A person who skips work or duty.

The other is (as FumbleFingers noted) shirker :-

v. shirked, shirking, shirking

v.tr. To avoid or neglect (a duty or responsibility).

“V.intr.. P.P.P.V.G.”, v.intr.P.P. and v.intr.P.C.L. To avoid work or duty.

The latter has the advantage that the person doing it may often be found in the shirker’s hole, (which I am astounded to find no references for on teh interwebz).

If you could be in a ball

(sense 2), you could have a ball.

The word that first springs to mind is feckless. particularly the second meaning… having

no sense of responsibility; indifferent, lazy.

How do I learn to swim?

You might try anfractuous :-

adj 1. characterized by twists and turns; convoluted

and chaotic.